Did The ‘Shaq Party’ Get a Little Overboard?

In search of a logical explanation for the Cavaliers’ 1st Round selection of G/F Christian Eyenga, this is the only scenario that makes sense to me…

Danny Ferry and Mike Brown are sitting in Dan Gilbert’s office at 2am Thursday morning.  Upon finalizing the deal that brings Shaquille O’Neal to Cleveland, Gilbert breaks out a bottle up bubbly, and the three partake in a celebratory glass of Chandon.  One glass turns into two, two turn into shots of Jagerbombs, Jagerbombs turn into LeBron Bombs, and before you know it, sugar is flying all over the room, and the Cavalier Girls have joined the party.  A couple Cavs Girls are dancing on the desk, and the rest are dancing all over the office, as Dan Gilbert begins playing the Bongos.  Next thing you know, the whole day has gone by, when the song Locomotion comes on.  The Cavalier Girls form a line behind Gilbert, and begin to follow him around the room chanting ‘bongo, bongo’ as the owner wails away on the drums, leading the train for the locomotion dance.  David Stern then calls the office, telling the trio that it is time to now make their 1st Round Selection.  Wearing a lampshade on his head, Mike Brown comes up to Danny Ferry, who at this point has tied his tie around his forehead, and says ‘Danny, so here are our options for the 30th pick.  We could take Sam Young, Dajuan Summers, DeJuan Blair, Nick Calathes, Dante Cunningham, or this kid from the Congo.’  Upon hearing a word that rhymes with ‘bongo,’ Dan Gilbert and the Cavalier Girls stop their locomotion dancing, and start yelling out ‘Congo,Congo’.  ‘Take the kid from the Congo, Ferry, that would be hilarious,’ says Gilbert.  Ferry, then looks over to Mike Brown, and his lampshade, shrugs his shoulders, and says ‘what the hell Mike, Congo it is!’  Ferry gets on the horn, and tells Stern, ‘we want the kid from the Congo!’  With that, he hangs up the phone, and the coach and GM hop into the back of the line behind the Cavalier Girls, and continue the party, as the bongo beats long into the night.

Brendan Bowers

About Brendan Bowers

I am the founding editor of StepienRules.com. I am also a content strategist and social media manager with Electronic Merchant Systems in Cleveland. My work has been published in SLAM Magazine, KICKS Magazine, The Locker Room Magazine, Cleveland.com, BleacherReport.com, InsideFacebook.com and elsewhere. I've also written a lot of articles that have been published here.