Ten and Counting

I was trying to think of a good strong and enticing lead sentence to start this blog off, but the title says it all really. Kinda shot myself in the foot because I had a nice opening few lines in my mind of what I was going to say too, but screw it. I messed up, let’s forget about it and move on shall we? Our beloved Cavaliers have ten regular season games left, so let’s dive right in and have a little (light hearted) look at what may unfold over the upcoming three weeks…

Tonight, @ San Antonio. Motivation isn’t an issue, Coach Brown just hangs up posters all over the locker room saying “4-0”.  That gets the guys going. LeBron ends the first quarter with 0 points, 8 dimes and 8 boards. He likes to get the hard part of his trip-dub out of the way early. Antawn Jamison makes McDyess look even older by running off screens for 48 minutes straight, thus resulting in McDyess needing a nap mid way through the third. JJ Hickson has yet another stellar game against Timmy D, Varejao annoys Duncan so much he puts DeJuan Blair on him. Blair grabs 20 boards in 7 minutes of play, making Dan Ferry wonder why he picked that guy, erm, oh yeah, Eyenga. Good move. Mo Williams takes advantage of Parker’s absence by going off on the Spurs for 30, Cavs take the road win.


Sunday, 28th March, Sacramento. The two most over sized, athletically gifted players in the league go at it in Lebron and Tyreke Evans. LeBron slides to the point, just to teach the rookie a lesson. What unfolds is an epic battle of one-on-one. It’s so enthralling, all other eight guys take a Gatorade break, just to watch. Obviously the king wins hands down, as do the Cavs. Z rocks the Q after settling in with his “new” team. Jamison finally looks to have gotten it and has a huge night. Shaq makes a courtside appearance, you know, to remind people of Clevaland he still exists. 


Wednesday, 31st March, Milwaukee. 25 days previous, the upstart Bucks beat the LeBron-less Cavs by seven. Jamison and DeLonte combined for 57 of our 85 points. Mo Williams shot 3-17 (1-7 from beyond the arc). It was ugly. This time round, Williams reminds his former team of what they’re missing by nailing all of his 8 long-range daggers. LeBron felt bad because the people of Wisconsin missed out on his skills last time round, so his box score reads 30, 12 and 12 with 4 blocks, all on Brandon Jennings. The Bucks are thought a nasty lesson here, playoff basketball is a whole ‘nuda game to regular season basketball.

next seven after the jump… 


Friday, April 2nd, Atlanta. Another playoff-style exhibition against the hopeful Hawks. Defense wins out here for our guys as Joe Johnson and Jamal Crawford find out that in Delonte West and Anthony Parker, we have two more than capable perimeter stoppers. The King of Blocks (No. 23) meets his number one challenger to his crown in Josh Smith. Fourth quarter, five minutes to go, Cavs by three. Atlanta forces a turnover and Bibby sets Smith free with just the basket facing him. Smith races down the floor, goes up from the free throw line for the tomahawk and…”BAM”. LeBron from nowhere swats his shot right into Austin Carr’s lap who proceeds to lose all control of his vocabulary in describing the block. He sets a world record by saying “Get that weak stuff out of here” 19 times in a minute. The Q erupts, Smith gets a technical by claiming a foul, and with the Cavs buoyed by the block they go on a 17-4 run to see out the victory.


Sunday, April 4th @ Boston. A night that shall be forever remembered as JJ Hickson night. JJ, knowing that he’s playing against a frontcourt containing Kendrick Perkins, Glen Davis, Kevin Garnett and Rasheed Wallace fancies his chances. He uses Perkins short temper to his advantage, Perkins fouls out in the 2nd quarter. He uses his god given athletic ability to demonise Baby. He then realises that he is one third of the combined age of Garnett and Wallace, and just goes to work. He has such a good game he even finds time to poke fun at Wallace’s man boobs. Our young stud finishes with 29 points and 14 rebounds, and oh yeah, Cavs beat the Celtics – again baby!!!


Tuesday, April 6th, Toronto. Knowing there’s a very probable first round match up in the foreseeable future the Cavs go all out here. Remember how intense and focused we were Christmas night against the Fakers? Times it by ten. It’s a rout. All Cavaliers players notch at least 10 points, led by LeBron’s 44. Chris Bosh afterwards declares he’s leaving the Raptors in July to go play in New York. After seeing Bosh try to contain Varejao and Jamison, LeBron announces he’s not going to New York.


Thursday, April 8th @ Chicago. The fully healthy Bulls get a welcome piece of news before tip off – LeBron, Jamison, JJ and Mo Williams have all been given the night off. Home court in the East has been assured; it’s take things easy time tonight for our guys. What’s left of our roster put in a performance to rival that of last season’s final game against Philadelphia (when Boobie Gibson and DeLonte West tore it up in the absence of our “stars”). They combine for 62 points. Leon Powe goes off for 20 and 10. But led by Derrick Rose’s triple double the Bulls sneak it out in OT. Reporters quiz Bulls head coach Vinny Del Negro after the game on reports surfacing that he’s been offered the lead role in the remake of “Goodfellas”. He declines to comment.


Friday, April 9th, Indiana. Shaq suits up for the game, but doesn’t see any action. All he says when asked why he didn’t play was “It’s not time yet, not a big enough stage for my comeback.” Anyways, the Cavaliers who do take part in the game are treated to a master class performance by Danny Granger who racks up a game high 46. Unfortunately for him the other Pacers tally just 32 and the Cavs win in a blow out that never got close. Cavs are heating up at just the right time.


Sunday, April 11th, Orlando. Dwight Howard. Eastern Conference Champions in our back yard, big enough stage for the Diesel? You’re damn right. Shaq suits up and plays 40 minutes of vintage Shaq, it’s like a 40 minute rewind back to the days of the three peat. Howard can’t handle Shaq’s hunger or array of post moves and fouls out in the third. Shaq has his highest scoring game of his brief Cavalier career with 38. DeLonte West and Jason Williams both get technicals for a heated discussion of which guy has more tattoos. Cavs win by ten.


Wednesday, April 14th, @ Atlanta. It’s the final game of the regular season. Atlanta have the four seed wrapped up, we have the number one overall seed in the bag. Both teams agree to rest the majority of their key players. For the Cavs LeBron, Mo, Jamison, JJ, Parker and Shaq sit it out. The Hawks rest Smith, Bibby, Johnson and Horford. Jamal Crawford, knowing he is on the cusp of the Sixth Man Award, plays. He scores 63. For the Cavs, Jawad Williams erupts for a career high 37. Ilgauskas and Pazciulia (is that how you spell that?) go seven foot with guy versus seven foot white guy. It’s hilarious. Atlanta takes the W, but nobody really cares. The real stuff is around the corner…


So, am I the heir to Nostradamus’ throne? I don’t think so. You gotta admit though, my predictions would be frickin hilarious and damn good TV to boot!! For the record, I fully expect us to 8-2 over the remaining ten games. Why? Because playing three potential playoff foes in Boston, Orlando and Atlanta we will want to send a message. LeBron wants his second MVP and another scoring title. Rotations will be crisper. Guys will be competing for minutes. Ten games to go before our date with destiny. One goal baby…one goal.


Til next time…


P.S – I would like to send my thoughts and prayers to George Karl and his family. Coach Karl is a good guy and a great coach with a very capable team. I hope they steady the ship in his absence, and I hope even more that we see him back for the playoffs. The NBA needs guys like Coach Karl. He will beat it. Get well soon coach!!

Brendan Bowers

About Brendan Bowers

I am the founding editor of StepienRules.com. I am also a content strategist and social media manager with Electronic Merchant Systems in Cleveland. My work has been published in SLAM Magazine, KICKS Magazine, The Locker Room Magazine, Cleveland.com, BleacherReport.com, InsideFacebook.com and elsewhere. I've also written a lot of articles that have been published here.